I need to write…

Silly me! I thought I was writing this for other people to read. I'm finding out that, at least partially, I'm writing this for myself. The last few nights, as I lay in bed, I started composing in my head. (I've got another mentally-written post about being in Big Bend and my plans to go back some day.)

My life has become, for the time being, a list of to-dos. Some of them are straightforward—get Jake to his next appointment, for example—and others are trivial. As I walk around the house, I add to the list in my head, prioritizing as I go. Toilet needs cleaning: it will get done at some point. No more rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom: do it now before I forget. You get the idea. At some point, I need to start a paper list, but I'm managing okay right now. I do put important items (appointments, calls to make) on my calendar with reminders, so nothing has slipped through the cracks yet.

Jake and I are getting back to a normal routine, finally, after two weeks of hospitals and various follow up appointments. We need normal. Monday he will have a needle biopsy to try to determine what the mass in his brain is. It is something less than a mass now, probably due to the steroids that he was given when he was first hospitalized. The MRI yesterday described the mass as a "patchy enhancement." LOL. Say what? The deal is that steroids act strongly on some masses. Lymphoma happens to be very sensitive to steroids, so the shrinkage of the mass after steroids could be an indicator that it is lymphoma. But there are other things that it could be. That's the point of the biopsy.

The biopsy is a little scary. His head will be secured and the needle will be computer guided based on the imaging, so that's good. But the needle has to go through about 5 inches of brain (through a pencil sized hole in the skull), then collect tissue from a very small "patchy enhancement" in a very dangerous location. I hope we get results to make the risks worthwhile.

But that's Monday. And we have a weekend with no appointments and hopefully no excitement. Assuming the rain holds off, I'm going on a birding walk in Giles County with my local bird club. It will feel good to get outside, as I've not walked or spent time outside (except for brief moments sitting on the deck) since I got back from Texas.

On the accomplishments ledger, my car is fixed, with a new valve of some kind installed and no more blinking lights! I got Jake's truck back from New River Medical Ctr in Radford, where he drove himself the day he got sick. (I know—moronic. Medical personnel make the worst patients!) A friend with a side lawn business agreed to take on our yard this summer, in case we can't manage it, and made time in his schedule to weedwhip the jungle around the house. Laundry and dishes are caught up, though there are still piles of stuff all over the house and it needs a good cleaning.

Now my car is home, I need to finish unpacking it. That's on my list for this weekend, but not a high priority. Nothing is going anywhere. I also need to get the tent off and stowed.

Originally, I was planning on hoisting it into the rafters in the garage. Of course, that was before I discovered that I can't drive into the garage with the tent on the car—it's too tall! I had the idea of storing it on sawhorses, and that's what I've decided. I'm going to put the the sawhorses (I bought 3 today at Harbor Freight) in the area between our house and the garage. It's concrete and level. After I clean the outside of the tent, which is currently dusty and buggy, I'll put the cloth cover on the tent, then some sheets or something else soft, and then cover it with a tarp. It should be fine out there. Later on, maybe I'll figure out how to get it in the garage, but this will be easier for the moment.

If I didn't say earlier, Jake is feeling pretty good. All the deficits from 2 weeks ago are gone. His balance is better. He does get tired, but he's able to live normally right now. I think we will both be glad to know what is going on. If it's the lymphoma again, we'll cope. I'll feel badly for him if he has to do chemo yet again. Third time is the charm?

Finally, about Big Bend and my trip. First, it was wonderful! Once I stopped fretting about cutting my trip short and the places that I didn't get to go, I started thinking about what a great couple of weeks I did have. Birding along the Texas coast was fun, but staying in Big Bend was amazing. I did get 5 days there. It is probably one of the most beautiful places that I have been, though the beauty differs from the mountains of Norway or the waterfalls of Iceland. There is so much variety in Big Bend, from the scrubby desert near the river to the rocks and colors of the Chisos Mountains. There is so much to explore, and I barely scratched the surface.

When I go back, though I'm not sure yet when that will be, I will stay a couple of days in the Chisos Mountains, and finish the Windows hike. I'll also stay at Big Bend Village for at least a day, and cross to Boquillas for lunch again (no 🫏). I could do it again in later April, to maximize the birding, or earlier in the year, to enjoy cooler weather. Time will tell.

I'll close with some pictures of the lovely cactus blooms. Oh, add that to my Big Bend revisit list: the cactus garden at the visitor's center. I didn't get back there like I had planned.

And, also, if my ramblings are of interest, check back. Writing is becoming important to me.